Richard Gets a Wake Up Call
Brandon Lane, the once and future CIO, surveyed his new office.
During his dramatic makeover of it on Sunday he had been faced with two choices. One was to use it to impose his authority and the other was to use it to signal a different way of working. He'd gone with the second choice, though now he was beginning to wonder. It was dawning on him that IT people don't do subtle.
The other thing that was worrying him was his experience of home life. He knew that however much Ysabelle rearranged the rooms there was always one optimal place to sit, and she would claim it before anyone else realised where it was. Looking around his office he tried to guess which was the best seat in the house. Was it best to face the door, or to be hidden from anyone entering the room so you could judge their reactions? What was the optimal distance to be from the coffee machine? Where were the power sockets? Which was the most comfortable chair?
Conversely, he wondered, where was the best place to put someone if you wanted to make them feel uncomfortable.
He didn't have long to wait to answer that question before Richard, the Service Desk manager came in.
"You wanted to see me?" Richard ejaculated as he sat down in the chair Brandon had just identified as the most comfortable.
"Nice of you to drop by. Do take a seat. How are things on the desk"
"I think they are OK, as a manager I try not to get involved in the day to day issues. Of course it would help if we had a new service management tool. Jacques was going to let me develop our own. I've put a paper together, I'll send it to you"
"Richard, remind me, what is the tool you are currently using?"
"It's XXXXXX. Rubbish. It doesn't let me do any of the analysis I want to do."
"I'm sure. Now just remind me of the last IT customer satisfaction survey results...no actually don't bother I read it this morning . Ah, here it is, let me quote 'They never get back to you when they say they will', 'Rude', 'treated me like an idiot', 'Explained how a system I'd designed worked in words of one syllable, and got it entirely wrong'. I could go on, but tell me, does your paper outline how a new tool would solve these issues?"
"Well that is users for you. Never happy. They don't realise how difficult our job is."
"What worries me Richard is this. Do you realise how difficult their jobs are?"
"A new tool would let us..."
"Richard. Richard. Richard. You pick up the phone. You find out what is upsetting the person on the phone, and when they put the phone down you leave them with the feeling that they don't need to worry. How is a new tool going to help you achieve that? How difficult can it be anyway? By the way how are the issues with the changes to the MFD IP addresses coming along?"
"Is there an issue? No one has told me yet."
"Richard, you are the Help Desk Manager. It is your job to know, and to make sure that other people know what is going on as well. Get out there and sort it."
"But what about your team meeting, it starts in ten minutes."
"Yes it does, but I think it would be a better use of your time to get back to the desk and sort things out."
There was an awkward pause.
" Now Richard. Now would be a good time to go and sort it out"
Showing posts with label Brandon Lane. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Brandon Lane. Show all posts
Wednesday, 26 May 2010
Thursday, 11 March 2010
Brandon Lane CIO - Episode 3
The Start of a New Week
Episode 1
Episode-2.
As the lift doors opened before him Brandon Lane had a brief image of herds of wildebeest, zebras and other prey animals on the African plains. He pushed his thoughts of outsourcing aside as he in turn was pushed aside. The culprit was wearing a T-shirt that was already smelling surprisingly stale for so early on a Monday morning.
Brandon had spent some time thinking about how he was going to make his first appearance as CIO.
It was a wasted effort.
His presence on the first floor was greeted with more indifference than patch Tuesday. It made him wonder why his predecessor was known for his habit of using the fire escape to get to his office with the minimum chance of making eye contact with the staff.
Wandering between the quasi-cubicles Brandon recognised the dull green coffee stained carpet as being the design that had been stripped out of the rest of the building three years ago. Although it was several years since the IT staff had been prised out of the actual basement, now given over entirely to the machines, the first floor was still referred to by others as "The Basement" and Brandon could see why.
One thing was very clear, IT didn't get the idea of open plan offices, and they clearly weren't too keen on natural light either. Not only that but... [Editor's note: The rest of this passage has been removed to avoid causing offence to any readers working in IT who believe that the business retains a stereotyped and outdated perception of what IT staff are really like.]....would all have to change, as well.
It came as a shock, as he stopped to look at yet another developer's twin screen set up with an 'interesting' screen saver, to actually be spoken to.
"Hi Brandon, what brings you down here? Lost your dongle again?"
It was Kelly, one of the Help Desk team leaders. Except he wasn't allowed to call it the Help Desk any more, it was a Service Desk. Brandon wasn't sure he'd noticed any difference since the change.
He got on well with Kelly, most people did, she was a likeable person. Brandon sometimes wondered if she had to work hard at it or if she was just like that naturally.
"Kelly, Hi. Busy morning so far?"
"Hey tell me about it. Someone put in a couple of changes over the weekend and the phones have been going crazy. So a typical Monday really."
"So why aren't you busy on taking a call then?"
"Ohh, like you are my boss now, Mr Auditor? We've got it all under control, at least my team has."
Brandon smiled, he knew Kelly could shift persona in an instant depending on who she was talking to and what the situation was, that was one of her skills. It was a skill he was about to test out.
"Kelly, just out of interest, who is your boss?"
"Richard, oh he doesn't get in until after nine on a Monday."
A glance at Kelly's face, which wasn't much of a hardship on Brandon's part, showed that cogs were whirling and pegs falling into place.
"Or did you mean Jacques? There were some odd things going on last Friday, Maarten from security was involved. Is there something I should know?"
Brandon sighed. It was going to be a long first day.
"You mean no one has told you anything about the changes? Jacques has gone and you've got a new boss."
By now every peg and cog was in place.
"No one ever tells the Service Desk anything in advance, it is Hell. A new boss could change all that"
She smiled knowingly.
"Brandon, or should I call you Boss now? .....Welcome to our Hell."
Brandon Lane now tweets as BrandonLaneCIO.
Episode 1
Episode-2.
As the lift doors opened before him Brandon Lane had a brief image of herds of wildebeest, zebras and other prey animals on the African plains. He pushed his thoughts of outsourcing aside as he in turn was pushed aside. The culprit was wearing a T-shirt that was already smelling surprisingly stale for so early on a Monday morning.
Brandon had spent some time thinking about how he was going to make his first appearance as CIO.
It was a wasted effort.
His presence on the first floor was greeted with more indifference than patch Tuesday. It made him wonder why his predecessor was known for his habit of using the fire escape to get to his office with the minimum chance of making eye contact with the staff.
Wandering between the quasi-cubicles Brandon recognised the dull green coffee stained carpet as being the design that had been stripped out of the rest of the building three years ago. Although it was several years since the IT staff had been prised out of the actual basement, now given over entirely to the machines, the first floor was still referred to by others as "The Basement" and Brandon could see why.
One thing was very clear, IT didn't get the idea of open plan offices, and they clearly weren't too keen on natural light either. Not only that but... [Editor's note: The rest of this passage has been removed to avoid causing offence to any readers working in IT who believe that the business retains a stereotyped and outdated perception of what IT staff are really like.]....would all have to change, as well.
It came as a shock, as he stopped to look at yet another developer's twin screen set up with an 'interesting' screen saver, to actually be spoken to.
"Hi Brandon, what brings you down here? Lost your dongle again?"
It was Kelly, one of the Help Desk team leaders. Except he wasn't allowed to call it the Help Desk any more, it was a Service Desk. Brandon wasn't sure he'd noticed any difference since the change.
He got on well with Kelly, most people did, she was a likeable person. Brandon sometimes wondered if she had to work hard at it or if she was just like that naturally.
"Kelly, Hi. Busy morning so far?"
"Hey tell me about it. Someone put in a couple of changes over the weekend and the phones have been going crazy. So a typical Monday really."
"So why aren't you busy on taking a call then?"
"Ohh, like you are my boss now, Mr Auditor? We've got it all under control, at least my team has."
Brandon smiled, he knew Kelly could shift persona in an instant depending on who she was talking to and what the situation was, that was one of her skills. It was a skill he was about to test out.
"Kelly, just out of interest, who is your boss?"
"Richard, oh he doesn't get in until after nine on a Monday."
A glance at Kelly's face, which wasn't much of a hardship on Brandon's part, showed that cogs were whirling and pegs falling into place.
"Or did you mean Jacques? There were some odd things going on last Friday, Maarten from security was involved. Is there something I should know?"
Brandon sighed. It was going to be a long first day.
"You mean no one has told you anything about the changes? Jacques has gone and you've got a new boss."
By now every peg and cog was in place.
Illustration copyright Kelly Greening 2010
"No one ever tells the Service Desk anything in advance, it is Hell. A new boss could change all that"
She smiled knowingly.
"Brandon, or should I call you Boss now? .....Welcome to our Hell."
Brandon Lane now tweets as BrandonLaneCIO.
Saturday, 20 February 2010
Brandon Lane CIO - Episode 2
Taking Stock
Episode 1
"It could be worse"
It seemed to newly appointed CIO Brandon Lane that he was the only person who knew how bad the news really was.
Only a couple of hours ago his deputy, Sally, had greeted the news of his sudden change of role with those same words, and now it was Yssabel, his wife, saying them.
"It will mean more money won't it, and a bigger team and budget to manage, and you like a challenge, you turned around the audit team"
It really was worrying that Yssabel and Sally appeared to be working from the same script. For a moment the thought crossed his mind that Hans might have briefed them both in advance. Only the fact that he knew they both equally detested Hans kept the thought at bay.
"It isn't the same at all as taking over the audit team. It was easy to get rid of the unqualified tick and turn auditors and bring in people who were already qualified or who really wanted the qualifications. All the team understand what we need to achieve and how to get there In IT all the teams hate each other. In IT nobody knows if anybody is really an expert or just making it up. For years Henry was considered untouchable because everyone thought he was the only person who knew how the PRISM system worked, then when it failed it turned out he didn't have a clue either."
Yssabel pouted. Brandon had to admit she was good at pouting.
"Anyway" she said, pointedly "You've got all those wonderful audit reports the sainted Sally has produced. Surely they must give you an idea of what needs to be done? You are always saying how wonderful they are"
"Well that is part of the problem. The excuse for getting rid of Jaques, apart from the slightly dubious files found on his laptop, is that he hasn't actioned any of the critical audit recommendations Sally has made in the last two years."
There was something about the way Yssabel snorted and dragged her heel across the floor that reminded Brandon of a bull about to charge.
"Oh well, that will be OK then. Sally can help you sort it out"
"Sally is going to be busy enough doing my old job, as well as her own.
"Oh, isn't that a shame."
Having made her point Yssabel softened.
"So go on then, what are you going to do? I know you well enough to know you've been thinking it through since the moment Hans told you, and you've probably had a plan in your head for the last two hours."
He smiled, and took the chance to pour himself a glass of wine. He would have slumped down in a comfortable chair but they were all occupied by the dogs, and he was feeling guilty about shouting at them when they'd jumped up to greet him coming through the door. That was the trouble with dogs. The poor things got shouted at because they happened to be there at the wrong time doing what they thought was the right thing to do. A bit like IT, he mused, everybody in IT thought they were an expert doing a great job and couldn't understand why no one else could see it. Very briefly he thought that the next few months might be easier had some one thought to have Dimitri 'done' before he'd developed his aggressive territorial habits.
"OK, yes, I have some ideas." He couldn't quite shake the image of Dimitri being taken to the vets, but he carried on.
"I need to get the balance right between telling them what they need to do, and them working it out for themselves. I need to shield the techies from the business, and the other way about as well. So I'm going to set up a proper service management team. There are a few things out there that might help. Sally builds all the computer audits around something called COBIT, but it isn't very sexy"
Brandon noticed Yssabel computing the spin to be put on his use of the of the words 'Sally' and 'sexy' in the same sentence even with negative connotations and decided against mentioning her again.
"There's something called ITIL as well. Gartner like it, and if Gartner like it Hans likes it. If Gartner and Hans like it I like it. So ITIL it is."
"So let me guess what you are going to do." Yssabel paused.
"First of all you are going to cook me a wonderful dinner, and then you are going to call in a team of consultants to tell you how to do ITIL in exactly the way you want them to do it."
Episode 1
"It could be worse"
It seemed to newly appointed CIO Brandon Lane that he was the only person who knew how bad the news really was.
Only a couple of hours ago his deputy, Sally, had greeted the news of his sudden change of role with those same words, and now it was Yssabel, his wife, saying them.
"It will mean more money won't it, and a bigger team and budget to manage, and you like a challenge, you turned around the audit team"
It really was worrying that Yssabel and Sally appeared to be working from the same script. For a moment the thought crossed his mind that Hans might have briefed them both in advance. Only the fact that he knew they both equally detested Hans kept the thought at bay.
"It isn't the same at all as taking over the audit team. It was easy to get rid of the unqualified tick and turn auditors and bring in people who were already qualified or who really wanted the qualifications. All the team understand what we need to achieve and how to get there In IT all the teams hate each other. In IT nobody knows if anybody is really an expert or just making it up. For years Henry was considered untouchable because everyone thought he was the only person who knew how the PRISM system worked, then when it failed it turned out he didn't have a clue either."
Yssabel pouted. Brandon had to admit she was good at pouting.
"Anyway" she said, pointedly "You've got all those wonderful audit reports the sainted Sally has produced. Surely they must give you an idea of what needs to be done? You are always saying how wonderful they are"
"Well that is part of the problem. The excuse for getting rid of Jaques, apart from the slightly dubious files found on his laptop, is that he hasn't actioned any of the critical audit recommendations Sally has made in the last two years."
There was something about the way Yssabel snorted and dragged her heel across the floor that reminded Brandon of a bull about to charge.
"Oh well, that will be OK then. Sally can help you sort it out"
"Sally is going to be busy enough doing my old job, as well as her own.
"Oh, isn't that a shame."
Having made her point Yssabel softened.
"So go on then, what are you going to do? I know you well enough to know you've been thinking it through since the moment Hans told you, and you've probably had a plan in your head for the last two hours."
He smiled, and took the chance to pour himself a glass of wine. He would have slumped down in a comfortable chair but they were all occupied by the dogs, and he was feeling guilty about shouting at them when they'd jumped up to greet him coming through the door. That was the trouble with dogs. The poor things got shouted at because they happened to be there at the wrong time doing what they thought was the right thing to do. A bit like IT, he mused, everybody in IT thought they were an expert doing a great job and couldn't understand why no one else could see it. Very briefly he thought that the next few months might be easier had some one thought to have Dimitri 'done' before he'd developed his aggressive territorial habits.
"OK, yes, I have some ideas." He couldn't quite shake the image of Dimitri being taken to the vets, but he carried on.
"I need to get the balance right between telling them what they need to do, and them working it out for themselves. I need to shield the techies from the business, and the other way about as well. So I'm going to set up a proper service management team. There are a few things out there that might help. Sally builds all the computer audits around something called COBIT, but it isn't very sexy"
Brandon noticed Yssabel computing the spin to be put on his use of the of the words 'Sally' and 'sexy' in the same sentence even with negative connotations and decided against mentioning her again.
"There's something called ITIL as well. Gartner like it, and if Gartner like it Hans likes it. If Gartner and Hans like it I like it. So ITIL it is."
"So let me guess what you are going to do." Yssabel paused.
"First of all you are going to cook me a wonderful dinner, and then you are going to call in a team of consultants to tell you how to do ITIL in exactly the way you want them to do it."
Thursday, 11 February 2010
Brandon Lane CIO - Episode 1
The New Job
Brandon Lane sat back in his chair and closed his eyes before speaking.
"Sally, it is a great report. I wouldn't say it outside of this room because I have a great department all round, but your computer audit team rocks."
Sally smiled. She'd worked with Brandon too long as her CIA to know that there wasn't a 'but' coming along the rail road track towards her with the head light on and the brakes screeching.
"But how can I sell this to the board?"
He smiled at her, and waited. They both knew he had asked the question knowing she had already thought about the answer. She waited a few seconds before answering
"I know. It is only a week since the gateway review gave the CoproLITE project the OK, and the CFO is on the steering committee."
He opened his eyes and moved forward, resting his chin on his hands. He didn't say anything, but his body language made it clear he expected her to continue.
"So how can we publish an audit report that says the project looks doomed to fail? Maybe we can still make it work. It isn't like Dimitri doesn't know what we've said in it. My team have tried to keep him on board from day one."
Dimitri was the Head of Development. Neither Sally nor Brandon under estimated him. He was a clever guy. Rather, as Brandon would put it when he knew it would never get back to Dimitri, he was a clever guy surrounded by idiots, but he wouldn't admit it. That is Dimitri wouldn't admit he was surrounded by idiots. He was very good at telling people how clever he was.
"I know, and for once I don't blame him. Everyone is to blame. If only Jacques had knocked a few heads together..."
Sally finished the sentence for him.
"...but that isn't Jaques' style."
Brandon sighed, as an auditor it was something he did a lot of.
"How did he get to be CIO? What does he actually do? Was it you who told me that in the mornings he sneaks in to his office trying to avoid anyone talking to him? I like the guy, but..."
Brandon's phone rang. He went very quiet and very serious before saying
"That was the top floor. I'll be right back. Don't go away."
As he left his corner office and walked through his team's space he couldn't help feeling a glow of pride. In four years he had turned the Internal Audit department around. Now it was staffed by professionally trained auditors whose audits reports were driven by business imperatives. The jewel in his crown was Sally's computer audit team.
Taking the elevator up to the 11th floor he was expecting the other Cs, the "Real Cs" as Ysabelle, his wife called them, to have got wind of the CoproLITE report. It didn't make for pretty reading, and it didn't take any prisoners. Despite his regard for Sally he was still thinking about how he could water it down to make it acceptable.
Brandon and Hans, the CEO, had history. It wasn't good. It was the sort of history Harold and William the Conqueror had. It is fair to say they didn't see eye to eye.
So it wasn't a surprise when Hans threw the Coprolite report at him as he walked through the door. Fortunately Brandon had instinctively ducked.
What was a surprise was Hans telling him that Jaques had been escorted from the building ten minutes earlier, and they now had a new CIO.
Back in his office on the 7th floor Brandon broke the news to Sally.
"Can I be the first to congratulate the new, and I hope, in the nicest possible way, acting, Chief Internal Auditor on her new appointment?"
Sally's jaw dropped.
"They haven't sacked you have they?"
"No, it is much worse than that.
They've made me CIO."
....to be continued.
Brandon Lane sat back in his chair and closed his eyes before speaking.
"Sally, it is a great report. I wouldn't say it outside of this room because I have a great department all round, but your computer audit team rocks."
Sally smiled. She'd worked with Brandon too long as her CIA to know that there wasn't a 'but' coming along the rail road track towards her with the head light on and the brakes screeching.
"But how can I sell this to the board?"
He smiled at her, and waited. They both knew he had asked the question knowing she had already thought about the answer. She waited a few seconds before answering
"I know. It is only a week since the gateway review gave the CoproLITE project the OK, and the CFO is on the steering committee."
He opened his eyes and moved forward, resting his chin on his hands. He didn't say anything, but his body language made it clear he expected her to continue.
"So how can we publish an audit report that says the project looks doomed to fail? Maybe we can still make it work. It isn't like Dimitri doesn't know what we've said in it. My team have tried to keep him on board from day one."
Dimitri was the Head of Development. Neither Sally nor Brandon under estimated him. He was a clever guy. Rather, as Brandon would put it when he knew it would never get back to Dimitri, he was a clever guy surrounded by idiots, but he wouldn't admit it. That is Dimitri wouldn't admit he was surrounded by idiots. He was very good at telling people how clever he was.
"I know, and for once I don't blame him. Everyone is to blame. If only Jacques had knocked a few heads together..."
Sally finished the sentence for him.
"...but that isn't Jaques' style."
Brandon sighed, as an auditor it was something he did a lot of.
"How did he get to be CIO? What does he actually do? Was it you who told me that in the mornings he sneaks in to his office trying to avoid anyone talking to him? I like the guy, but..."
Brandon's phone rang. He went very quiet and very serious before saying
"That was the top floor. I'll be right back. Don't go away."
As he left his corner office and walked through his team's space he couldn't help feeling a glow of pride. In four years he had turned the Internal Audit department around. Now it was staffed by professionally trained auditors whose audits reports were driven by business imperatives. The jewel in his crown was Sally's computer audit team.
Taking the elevator up to the 11th floor he was expecting the other Cs, the "Real Cs" as Ysabelle, his wife called them, to have got wind of the CoproLITE report. It didn't make for pretty reading, and it didn't take any prisoners. Despite his regard for Sally he was still thinking about how he could water it down to make it acceptable.
Brandon and Hans, the CEO, had history. It wasn't good. It was the sort of history Harold and William the Conqueror had. It is fair to say they didn't see eye to eye.
So it wasn't a surprise when Hans threw the Coprolite report at him as he walked through the door. Fortunately Brandon had instinctively ducked.
What was a surprise was Hans telling him that Jaques had been escorted from the building ten minutes earlier, and they now had a new CIO.
Back in his office on the 7th floor Brandon broke the news to Sally.
"Can I be the first to congratulate the new, and I hope, in the nicest possible way, acting, Chief Internal Auditor on her new appointment?"
Sally's jaw dropped.
"They haven't sacked you have they?"
"No, it is much worse than that.
They've made me CIO."
....to be continued.
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